Tuesday, June 30, 2009
main reason for me to move
It's just after one in the morning. I'm laying in bed reading a good book, should be sleeping I know but those who know me know I don't sleep that much. So I'm reading my book when I hear a loud crash. Thinking someone may be hurt I rush out the door to see what happened and find a car has been crashed through one of the supports for the covered parking, hit one another car and pushed that car in to the truck next to it. I'm the first one out there and I run around to the drivers side to find the drivers door open and the car empty. Seems our driver wasn't the owner and took off running as soon as he ruined his getaway vehicle. No one who came after me had their cell phones so I ran back in to call 911. After talking with dispatch I chatted with my neighbors about the accident for a while. They all left after it seemed nothing more interesting was going to happen. Dispatch had asked me to stay to talk to the officer who would show up so I stood there watching the steam from the broken engine, waiting for them to show up. Turns out he stole the car from someone in the apartment complex, even had their keys, and who knows why he crashed. So now it's two in the morning and I'm still awake, writing this blog and wondering if the cops who are still in the parking lot are going to come knock on my door to ask more questions. I hope not. I'm tired now and wouldn't mind getting some sleep.
Monday, June 29, 2009
I was right
Since I moved into the apartment I live in now my fridge has made random and annoying noises. Repeatedly I asked to have it checked out or replaced but was told that as it was still working and the maintenance guys never heard it do its thing that it was fine. It was even referred to as one of the new ones in the complex.
The maintenance guys just finished pulling out the old new one and brought in a new new one. I was right. :)
The maintenance guys just finished pulling out the old new one and brought in a new new one. I was right. :)
Monday, June 15, 2009
school aid online enrollment
this crap is complicated. I think I'm about to give up and just go in and talk to a counselor. Online they seem to expect you to know what everything is called and what you need and by the time you're half way through it you see that it's not the right form. So I'm just going into the school. easier that way.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Saints?
This is just a thing I've been thinking about lately. One that I am surprised and disappointed that I've never thought about before. It was actually my phones auto spelling that started me thinking. Whenever I type paint it brings up saint first.
It's all in the name. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Saints. That sounds to me like all members are saints. I'm sad to say that, looking back I was not living up to that name. I was not a saint. I never had that thought in my mind. I was selfish, not saint like. Suddenly having this thought made me look back through the time I was active as a member and the time I've spent since. It's been a hard time looking back at my life and seeing the things I've done wrong.
In the Dictionary the fist definition for Saint is, 'A holy person.' Not me. The second 'A person who is exceptionally charitable, patient, etc.' Again, not me. I have thought that I was a good person. I helped others when I could and thought myself to be compassionate. Yet looking back I can see so many times I could have been more. Knew that I could have done better with out having to put myself out at all. Simple small things like calling a friend I knew was having a hard time with something. And I didn't call. I didn't show my concern. I assumed they would be fine with out me putting my two cents in. I know that I am like that. I prefer to suffer in silence a lot but I also know that most of the people I am close to don't live like that. Only I am a hermit. I know many other examples that I choose not to put here.
So my final thought was only this. How many times in my life have I tried to act like a saint?... None. Why?... Never thought about it. I think I will from now on.
Side note. I haven't been an active member of the church for ten years now. Sadly I think I've spent more time thinking about how a member should act since I stopped going. Many times in a slightly malicious way. For that I am sorry. I've also spent a lot of times thinking about it with myself in mind and how I could be better. Faith has always been a hard thing for me and I know that it played a major roll in my decision to move away from the church. But another roll was played by my inability to separate the church from its members and judge the church harshly for what a member did or said, or didn't do. For that I must also be sorry. I judged when it wasn't my place. Perfection is not in any I know and especially in myself and I should have been more understanding. But I do still believe that those who put the name of 'Saints' on themselves should have an understanding of what that means and chose if they want to be a saint. I didn't and I think I've come to regret that.
It's all in the name. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Saints. That sounds to me like all members are saints. I'm sad to say that, looking back I was not living up to that name. I was not a saint. I never had that thought in my mind. I was selfish, not saint like. Suddenly having this thought made me look back through the time I was active as a member and the time I've spent since. It's been a hard time looking back at my life and seeing the things I've done wrong.
In the Dictionary the fist definition for Saint is, 'A holy person.' Not me. The second 'A person who is exceptionally charitable, patient, etc.' Again, not me. I have thought that I was a good person. I helped others when I could and thought myself to be compassionate. Yet looking back I can see so many times I could have been more. Knew that I could have done better with out having to put myself out at all. Simple small things like calling a friend I knew was having a hard time with something. And I didn't call. I didn't show my concern. I assumed they would be fine with out me putting my two cents in. I know that I am like that. I prefer to suffer in silence a lot but I also know that most of the people I am close to don't live like that. Only I am a hermit. I know many other examples that I choose not to put here.
So my final thought was only this. How many times in my life have I tried to act like a saint?... None. Why?... Never thought about it. I think I will from now on.
Side note. I haven't been an active member of the church for ten years now. Sadly I think I've spent more time thinking about how a member should act since I stopped going. Many times in a slightly malicious way. For that I am sorry. I've also spent a lot of times thinking about it with myself in mind and how I could be better. Faith has always been a hard thing for me and I know that it played a major roll in my decision to move away from the church. But another roll was played by my inability to separate the church from its members and judge the church harshly for what a member did or said, or didn't do. For that I must also be sorry. I judged when it wasn't my place. Perfection is not in any I know and especially in myself and I should have been more understanding. But I do still believe that those who put the name of 'Saints' on themselves should have an understanding of what that means and chose if they want to be a saint. I didn't and I think I've come to regret that.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Mans search for something more
I am currently watching a TV show about Ancient Aliens on the History channel. It portrays the pyramids of Egypt and the Mayans and others as being built by aliens. Even showing glyphs with a twist to show a man flying or rocketing into space.
There are mysteries in ancient history and I am very interested in them but I find theories of aliens to be flat and unimaginative, lacking the depth that a real history would have that would lend credulity to its fact. I find I must believe that there was something more to the pyramids being constructed and their layout/placement all over the world or why the Mayans felt they needed a calender more precise than the one we use today; and I find I understand the need to find any and all reasons to explain these things that we do not understand. Man needs to understand. We all have the desire to see things that puzzle us explained and shown to us in a manner we can understand.
Yet I also feel that this desire is a quest for us all. The equally ancient question calls to us all, 'Why are we here?' What is mans purpose and what happens when we die? If you have never asked yourself this question, you are not alive. Most find their answer in faith. Some find it in science. Others find theirs in the unknown and theories as to what could answer the unknown. In all ways, we search for something that is more powerful than ourselves and more knowing, even all-knowing and that this something will grace us with the knowledge they possess. For myself, I find that the question in more important to us than the means we use to search for them, although I do believe that searching for these answers through science or science fiction is the wrong direction. I find amazing things in science and in stories of aliens, space travel, and all the other theories that abound, yet it falls short in bringing meaning more than just knowledge of natural order and a way to expand my imagination or open my mind to different possibilities. The only place to ask what the meaning of life is, in my way of thinking/feeling, is through faith.
I hear these theories that some people use to say that aliens have been here on our planet and other planets in our solar system and I find it hard to believe, impossible for me to believe in fact. Many who know me personally might find it surprising to hear me say that I find all these impossibilities explainable only by the existence of God and his presence among us in those times. I find it much easier to believe that in a time that most religions say was a time of miracles, that God was able to show many people in many ways the intricate workings of his creations and that understanding of them was far greater then than now where we question everything put in front of us with unrelenting scepticism and have forgotten the easy faith a child has in a loving father and mother.
I believe firmly in a need for science and imagination to take us in new directions and discoveries... But we cannot forget the faith of youth. through out time we are asked by religious leaders to have faith, to keep faith, to believe that there is something more that, on our own, we cannot understand. With all these theories out there is it so hard that the answer could be something we are told every time we attend church? To have faith.
There are mysteries in ancient history and I am very interested in them but I find theories of aliens to be flat and unimaginative, lacking the depth that a real history would have that would lend credulity to its fact. I find I must believe that there was something more to the pyramids being constructed and their layout/placement all over the world or why the Mayans felt they needed a calender more precise than the one we use today; and I find I understand the need to find any and all reasons to explain these things that we do not understand. Man needs to understand. We all have the desire to see things that puzzle us explained and shown to us in a manner we can understand.
Yet I also feel that this desire is a quest for us all. The equally ancient question calls to us all, 'Why are we here?' What is mans purpose and what happens when we die? If you have never asked yourself this question, you are not alive. Most find their answer in faith. Some find it in science. Others find theirs in the unknown and theories as to what could answer the unknown. In all ways, we search for something that is more powerful than ourselves and more knowing, even all-knowing and that this something will grace us with the knowledge they possess. For myself, I find that the question in more important to us than the means we use to search for them, although I do believe that searching for these answers through science or science fiction is the wrong direction. I find amazing things in science and in stories of aliens, space travel, and all the other theories that abound, yet it falls short in bringing meaning more than just knowledge of natural order and a way to expand my imagination or open my mind to different possibilities. The only place to ask what the meaning of life is, in my way of thinking/feeling, is through faith.
I hear these theories that some people use to say that aliens have been here on our planet and other planets in our solar system and I find it hard to believe, impossible for me to believe in fact. Many who know me personally might find it surprising to hear me say that I find all these impossibilities explainable only by the existence of God and his presence among us in those times. I find it much easier to believe that in a time that most religions say was a time of miracles, that God was able to show many people in many ways the intricate workings of his creations and that understanding of them was far greater then than now where we question everything put in front of us with unrelenting scepticism and have forgotten the easy faith a child has in a loving father and mother.
I believe firmly in a need for science and imagination to take us in new directions and discoveries... But we cannot forget the faith of youth. through out time we are asked by religious leaders to have faith, to keep faith, to believe that there is something more that, on our own, we cannot understand. With all these theories out there is it so hard that the answer could be something we are told every time we attend church? To have faith.
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